It's been a while since I wrote so I figured an update was necessary. I haven't had major internet access for a while. I have been jumping online when I could at work and/or borrowing the roomies computer when possible. But it means blogging was not the priority. Now I have a tiny, adorable little laptop/netbook that I am loving. I named it Tiny. Hopefully it will make my life easier, more accessible and lead to more blogging. Well consider this the start right?
Anyway, here are some updates on my life and possibly some random thoughts too:
* Looks like I will be back at TAG next year. They are pretty sure the budget will be there and there will be even more kids in the program so my position is very much needed. I am super excited.
* On that note, after being in the classroom all year I have officially decided that I do want to pursue teaching as a career. When I get back from camp I am going to start looking seriously into some MAT programs locally and hopefully will get started next summer. I can't wait!
* I have less than 2 weeks before I leave for camp. I am nervous and excited, both. I have so much to look forward to and so much I fear. I am trying to stay positive and upbeat about the whole thing, but there are a lot of unknowns.
* My mind is my worst enemy. I can think myself into believing just about anything, which can lead to lots of problems. Especially when others are involved. It is frustrating.
* I have discovered a new hobby with Lego that I LOVE! Didn't think it could get cooler but then BANG! it did.
* There are a few new developments in my life lately that have me happy, concerned, anxious and excited. I don't feel comfortable going into massive details here since they involve others and unless I am told I 'can' speak on the topic I'd rather not do so on a public blog. However, I will say that I feel positive for the future and would like to continue to be 'cautiously optomistic.'
* Along with the last bullet point, I have experienced some situations lately that have not been pleasant. I have found them to be learning experiences which is all one can truly ever ask for but I do feel as though I have learned and am ready to move forward. I only hope others feel similarly and that history will NOT repeat itself again.
* I am trying to get better about 'walking the talk.' I think I do it pretty well for the most part but am aware of some situations where I do not. Understandable insecurities or not, I don't like misrepresenting myself which is how I feel when I say one thing and do another. I am hopeful that I will continue to walk the path of my talk since it is of great importance to me.
* I am seriously attached to the kids I work with and am very sad that I have just 2 more days with them before I am done. I can't even imagine how I will feel after camp.
* There are things I never thought I would want (again) that I can now honestly say I do want. I am nervous about having changed my opinion on these topics but do feel as though time has healed the wounds and settled the fears. I feel like a real adult now!
* I am glad I made the summer camp commitment earlier because if I were doing it now there is a chance I wouldn't. There are so many unknowns about how things will be when I am gone and when I get back that the idea of being here and being employeed and stable is appealing. However, this is also the best time for me to take a risk like this so I am just gonna go with it.
* To save my sanity and the sanity of those crazy enough to have ongoing contact with me, I have decided that I must start journaling again. I love looking back at things and seeing how they worked out. Here's hoping that my journal of now will be a gem and hold a wonderful growth and adventure that leads me down a path of true and complete happiness and love.
Those are some of the recent thoughts going through my head and the basics of an update. Since someone asked before, my Waldo thing is basically a scavenger hunt where people dressed as Waldo from the 'Where's Waldo' books will be hidden downtown Portland at key places. The object will be to solve clues and find Waldos. It is a ton of fun to organize (lots of work too) and I hope everyone who does it will be super excited and have a great time.
Off to get the sleep I missed from today. Hoping that tomorrow finds me healthy, happy and wise enough to stop my brain from overanalyzing things. I just want low-drama, low-stress living. Not "no" but certainly 'low.' I feel like lately I have been on stress overload and I could soooo use some breaks now. Especially before I leave. Fingers and toes crossed....
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Music and Dating
I often say there are certain songs that if I was putting together a match.com or eharmony account (no, I am not!) I would quote. They aren't necessarily an 'exact' description of what I want but close enough for government work. So in that vain I decided to post a few here (it may just be one for now but who knows?) I will use () to indact things that aren't entirely true...
----------------------------
21 Things I Want in a Lover
Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds? (essential)
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition? (unless for humor and not mean)
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom? (so important!)
Do you see everything as an illusion? (ummm... not needed really)
But enjoy it even though you are not of it? (again... not needed or fully understood)
Are you both masculine and feminine? (masculine is great! but crying is ok. um... don't borrow my clothes often - like my 'girl' clothes)
politically aware? (not super political, please no, but aware of the world around you and open to it is key)
And dont believe in capital punishment? (ummm... I sort of do so as long as you aren't militant either way)
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer (so true! no needed but sometimes preferred. or at least to be traded with other qualities)
Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? (so true! not always diving in head-first but sometimes more than just toe-dipping)
are you funny? ala self-deprecating? (with me, you have to have a sense of humor. i do the stupidest things and if you can't laugh then it simply won't work)
like adventure? (we get one life - that we know of - LIVE IT! experience it all at least once, or twice)
and have many formed opinions? (i like this but please don't be so set in your ways that you are unable to have a calm or passionate discussion without fire and brimestone)
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter (we all have a choice)
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover
I'm in no hurry I could wait forever (if it's there it is worth the wait)
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo (i LOVE my tiffy time. even together people need their own lives)
There are no worries and certainly no pressure (pressure-free is how it all should be)
in the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow (i try to live that way even when engaged in a relationship. carpe diem - reason it was my first tattoo!)
Are you uninhibited in bed? (necessary)
more than three times a week? Up for being experimental? (absolutely necessary. I could elaborate but I won't here)
are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? (doesn't need to be a job but should believe in helping people)
are you not addicted? (essential. liking a lot is great, encouraged even but going crazy without, yeah no)
...curious and communicative... (very necessary)
-------------------------
I Want Love
I want love, but it's impossible (totally disagree btw)
A man like me, so irresponsible (woman and i am responsible just a bit free-spirited)
A man like me is dead in places (not really dead just bruised)
Other men feel liberated
I've had love, shot full of holes (true!)
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold (really... who hasn't been there?!)
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart (again, who hasn't?)
But I want love, just a different kind (yep)
I want love, won't break me down (yes please)
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in (yes please)
I want a love, that don't mean a thing (umm... not sure what he means here. i like things to mean things)
That's the love I want, I want love
I want love on my own terms (well and the other persons too)
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage (i say it's about having matching luggage with someone. and all of mine fits into the overhead compartments nicely. would be nice to find that someone else's does too)
Oh man I've seen so much traffic (ummm... that sounds kind of slutty and i can't say that but i have had life lessons taught through experience)
So bring it on, I've been bruised (who hasn't?)
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth (relatively drama free though would be nice)
I'm ready for the rougher stuff (well... actually some less-rough would be nice)
No sweet romance, I've had enough (actually, i haven't had nearly my quota so i would say this line is not true. but realistic romance is key)
------------------------------------------
So those are the songs that come to mind right off. They aren't exact and they aren't entirely accurate. And they aren't requirements or anything like that. But I think that it is important people know what they want. Helps with showing and explaining it to others.
I had said for a while these were songs I often thought of in this context so that is why I wrote this blog. Nothing more, nothing less. Just thought too maybe it would inspire others to use music to find themselves or their loves. But I also hope that people can fully realize how great it is to just be and just be on your own, without all the relationship stuff. I figure until you can be on your own and love yourself you can't love anyone else properly. I don't know if I'd say I love myself but I am slowing dating myself....
----------------------------
21 Things I Want in a Lover
Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds? (essential)
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition? (unless for humor and not mean)
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom? (so important!)
Do you see everything as an illusion? (ummm... not needed really)
But enjoy it even though you are not of it? (again... not needed or fully understood)
Are you both masculine and feminine? (masculine is great! but crying is ok. um... don't borrow my clothes often - like my 'girl' clothes)
politically aware? (not super political, please no, but aware of the world around you and open to it is key)
And dont believe in capital punishment? (ummm... I sort of do so as long as you aren't militant either way)
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer (so true! no needed but sometimes preferred. or at least to be traded with other qualities)
Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? (so true! not always diving in head-first but sometimes more than just toe-dipping)
are you funny? ala self-deprecating? (with me, you have to have a sense of humor. i do the stupidest things and if you can't laugh then it simply won't work)
like adventure? (we get one life - that we know of - LIVE IT! experience it all at least once, or twice)
and have many formed opinions? (i like this but please don't be so set in your ways that you are unable to have a calm or passionate discussion without fire and brimestone)
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter (we all have a choice)
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover
I'm in no hurry I could wait forever (if it's there it is worth the wait)
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo (i LOVE my tiffy time. even together people need their own lives)
There are no worries and certainly no pressure (pressure-free is how it all should be)
in the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow (i try to live that way even when engaged in a relationship. carpe diem - reason it was my first tattoo!)
Are you uninhibited in bed? (necessary)
more than three times a week? Up for being experimental? (absolutely necessary. I could elaborate but I won't here)
are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? (doesn't need to be a job but should believe in helping people)
are you not addicted? (essential. liking a lot is great, encouraged even but going crazy without, yeah no)
...curious and communicative... (very necessary)
-------------------------
I Want Love
I want love, but it's impossible (totally disagree btw)
A man like me, so irresponsible (woman and i am responsible just a bit free-spirited)
A man like me is dead in places (not really dead just bruised)
Other men feel liberated
I've had love, shot full of holes (true!)
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold (really... who hasn't been there?!)
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart (again, who hasn't?)
But I want love, just a different kind (yep)
I want love, won't break me down (yes please)
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in (yes please)
I want a love, that don't mean a thing (umm... not sure what he means here. i like things to mean things)
That's the love I want, I want love
I want love on my own terms (well and the other persons too)
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage (i say it's about having matching luggage with someone. and all of mine fits into the overhead compartments nicely. would be nice to find that someone else's does too)
Oh man I've seen so much traffic (ummm... that sounds kind of slutty and i can't say that but i have had life lessons taught through experience)
So bring it on, I've been bruised (who hasn't?)
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth (relatively drama free though would be nice)
I'm ready for the rougher stuff (well... actually some less-rough would be nice)
No sweet romance, I've had enough (actually, i haven't had nearly my quota so i would say this line is not true. but realistic romance is key)
------------------------------------------
So those are the songs that come to mind right off. They aren't exact and they aren't entirely accurate. And they aren't requirements or anything like that. But I think that it is important people know what they want. Helps with showing and explaining it to others.
I had said for a while these were songs I often thought of in this context so that is why I wrote this blog. Nothing more, nothing less. Just thought too maybe it would inspire others to use music to find themselves or their loves. But I also hope that people can fully realize how great it is to just be and just be on your own, without all the relationship stuff. I figure until you can be on your own and love yourself you can't love anyone else properly. I don't know if I'd say I love myself but I am slowing dating myself....
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Historical Things in My Lifetime
I found myself thinking today about the historical things that have happened during my lifetime and where I was when they happened. This isn't by any means a complete list but simply a cataloging of things that were (or at least I deemed) historical and that I clearly remember. I am sure there will be many things forgotten but here are the things that come to my head first and NOT in chronological order:
* The space shuttle blew up. I remember I was going to Auke Bay Elementary School at the time. I got up early to watch with my parents - it was the first time I could remember it. Sitting there eating oatmeal we cheered when it took off. Then I remember watching it blow up. Our house was silent. I was the first to speak saying, "Is this real?" I don't remember the answer. I do remember being late to school and being the only person in my class who had seen it.
* The planes hitting the towers. I was at home walking out the door when the first one hit. I left listening to the radio the whole way. Since I didn't have a radio at work I stopped at Fred Meyer to buy one. In the electronic section the news was on all 20 TVs. There was a crowd of about 30 people all silently watching. I joined them and listened. That was when the second tower got hit. I just remember we all burst out crying and hugging each other. I don't think any of us were there with people but suddenly we were not alone. It was a sad and yet, oddly comforting and amazing feeling.
* The Berlin Wall coming down. I remember watching the news on TV and being fascinated by it all. This was one of my first political memories. My grandparents got me a puzzle of the wall coming down a few weeks later. It is the only puzzle I have actually ever put together (over about 30 pieces).
* The Iraq War started under Papa Bush. I remember being out at dinner with my dad - my mom was out of town. I remember it because it was rare mom was gone. We were eating Mexican food and talking. Then a murmur went through the restaurant. I remember my dad saying, "I bet we went to war." We ate the rest of the meal tring to listen to the other diners. When we got home we turned on the TV to find that yes, we were at war.
* Ted Bundy was executed. I remember asking my mom if I could stay up to watch. They didn't televise the actual execution but they did show him being walked in and then his body being taken away, in a white hersh. To this day I am still amazed my mom let me stay up and watch that since I was like 14 years old but she did. I remember her cheering. Neither of my parents ever 'told' me about Bundy but I heard of him on the news and then I remember finding everything I could to read about him. I guess you could say from an early age I was fascinated by serial killers and their motivations - but I can't honestly say why.
* Princess Diana is killed. I remember I had just been back from England for a few weeks when this happened. I was house-sitting for my grandparents, they were out of town. So were my parents. In fact, the only person in town was my Aunt Nit, she is from Thailand. I remember it came on the news and I was shocked. Almost immediately the phone rang and it was Nit. She was in tears. Together we were on the phone for about 6 hours watching the news and commenting. This was one of the longest conversations I had had with her at that time. It was also the first real heartfelt conversation too. I remember watching all of the reports and the crime scene and everything. It was horrible. We were both so touched and moved by the events, it was unreal. I cannot say exactly what about Princess Di touched either of us, but it was something. I feel that since that moment on Nit and I have been closer somehow.
* Obama elected President. This is the most recent historical thing I can remember. Though I had taken the morning off work to watch the inauguration on TV I actually overslept and woke up just as his took the oath of office. I remember sitting in my home, alone with my cat on my lap and crying my heart out. It was amazing and powerful. It was the first time in over 10 years that I was truly honored and proud to be an American.
* Ellen comes out. I wasn't a huge watcher of the Ellen Show but being a long-standing fan of her stand-up routine (I watched her during Improv) I tuned in occasionally. I just happened to be watching that night when she 'came out.' True it wasn't a huge surprise to anyone, but still it was a big deal. I couldn't help but smile for her. You go girl! I am proud of anyone who takes the risk to live in truth and honesty vs living a lie. Gay or straight, married or single, we have all lived a lie at one point or another. Be it being with someone you don't love or keeping a secret you think will 'ruin everything.' Anyone who has the strength to stop the lie deserves a HUGE round of applause in my book.
* The Cooney vs Holmes fight. Whether or not this is truly historical is a matter of opinion but to me it was. I remember staying up late with my mom and dad to watch the fight. I was about 8 years old and I remember watching as my parents dodged and weaved and cheered. I don't know if I remember much of the fight but I remember how my parents reacted. Prior to this I had memories of my dad and memories of my mom, but this was the first true memory I had of them both together, enjoying themselves. It was amazing. I can't be sure but I bet that had something to do with my love of Rocky a few months later when my uncle showed me the movie. The love of Rocky and the dream of taking boxing classes has stuck with me ever since. (I haven't boxed yet and would never want to in an actual fight but I would LOVE to take a class or two)
* The Waco Siege. I remember watching on TV as they stormed the compound and then the entire place went up in flame. It was a horrifying to watch but I was intrigued. I couldn't understand how or why people would choose to die over religious beliefs. This is probably what helped feed my interest and fascination with religion and cults.
* The killing of the Oregon City girls. I hadn't been living in Portland very long when this happened. I remember they found the body of the first girl in the garage and immediately 24-hr news coverage began. I was glued to the TV for days watching and waiting. I was crying with the families - even though I had never known these girls. Like the Bundy experience before something about the entire situation moved me. Plus this was in my own town. Coming from a small town in Alaska a crime like this was unreal - which was both fascinating and terrifying. Big cities are so different from small towns.
* The first woman runs for Governor of Alaska - Arliss Strugeleski. I LOVED her. She was strong, bold and Republican. This was a woman that wasn't an idiot. She was my hero. I proudly worked for her campaign in high school. And I met her a number of times - she remembered me. When I grew up I wanted to be just like her (and almost was is seemed). I was crushed when she lost. And to think who was actually elected the first female governor years later turns my stomach. Arliss would have made an excellent Governor.
* Meeting ALL of the past Governors of Alaska. I was in 2nd grade when my mom took me out of school one day to go to the inauguration. It was at the SOB (State Office Building for non-Alaskans) at noon. We watched while the new Governor was sworn in (Sheffield) and give his speech. Then the former Governors formed a line for the new Governor and his cabinet to walk through and shake hands. My mom said I should 'go get in line' to meet the Governor - meaning the line off to the side, behind the press. I didn't hear and/or pay attention to that part. I joined in the line right in between some cabinet members. And there it was on TV me walking down the line shaking hands with all of the Governors. My mom was embarrassed at the other end but proud. I never registered what I did was wrong. Still don't.
These are the first few things I can think of right now. If I can think of others I will add them but these are certainly the really big things. Feel free to respond with your own list of historical things in your lifetime. I bet combined we could cover almost every news-worthy item over the last 30-40 years. What you think?
* The space shuttle blew up. I remember I was going to Auke Bay Elementary School at the time. I got up early to watch with my parents - it was the first time I could remember it. Sitting there eating oatmeal we cheered when it took off. Then I remember watching it blow up. Our house was silent. I was the first to speak saying, "Is this real?" I don't remember the answer. I do remember being late to school and being the only person in my class who had seen it.
* The planes hitting the towers. I was at home walking out the door when the first one hit. I left listening to the radio the whole way. Since I didn't have a radio at work I stopped at Fred Meyer to buy one. In the electronic section the news was on all 20 TVs. There was a crowd of about 30 people all silently watching. I joined them and listened. That was when the second tower got hit. I just remember we all burst out crying and hugging each other. I don't think any of us were there with people but suddenly we were not alone. It was a sad and yet, oddly comforting and amazing feeling.
* The Berlin Wall coming down. I remember watching the news on TV and being fascinated by it all. This was one of my first political memories. My grandparents got me a puzzle of the wall coming down a few weeks later. It is the only puzzle I have actually ever put together (over about 30 pieces).
* The Iraq War started under Papa Bush. I remember being out at dinner with my dad - my mom was out of town. I remember it because it was rare mom was gone. We were eating Mexican food and talking. Then a murmur went through the restaurant. I remember my dad saying, "I bet we went to war." We ate the rest of the meal tring to listen to the other diners. When we got home we turned on the TV to find that yes, we were at war.
* Ted Bundy was executed. I remember asking my mom if I could stay up to watch. They didn't televise the actual execution but they did show him being walked in and then his body being taken away, in a white hersh. To this day I am still amazed my mom let me stay up and watch that since I was like 14 years old but she did. I remember her cheering. Neither of my parents ever 'told' me about Bundy but I heard of him on the news and then I remember finding everything I could to read about him. I guess you could say from an early age I was fascinated by serial killers and their motivations - but I can't honestly say why.
* Princess Diana is killed. I remember I had just been back from England for a few weeks when this happened. I was house-sitting for my grandparents, they were out of town. So were my parents. In fact, the only person in town was my Aunt Nit, she is from Thailand. I remember it came on the news and I was shocked. Almost immediately the phone rang and it was Nit. She was in tears. Together we were on the phone for about 6 hours watching the news and commenting. This was one of the longest conversations I had had with her at that time. It was also the first real heartfelt conversation too. I remember watching all of the reports and the crime scene and everything. It was horrible. We were both so touched and moved by the events, it was unreal. I cannot say exactly what about Princess Di touched either of us, but it was something. I feel that since that moment on Nit and I have been closer somehow.
* Obama elected President. This is the most recent historical thing I can remember. Though I had taken the morning off work to watch the inauguration on TV I actually overslept and woke up just as his took the oath of office. I remember sitting in my home, alone with my cat on my lap and crying my heart out. It was amazing and powerful. It was the first time in over 10 years that I was truly honored and proud to be an American.
* Ellen comes out. I wasn't a huge watcher of the Ellen Show but being a long-standing fan of her stand-up routine (I watched her during Improv) I tuned in occasionally. I just happened to be watching that night when she 'came out.' True it wasn't a huge surprise to anyone, but still it was a big deal. I couldn't help but smile for her. You go girl! I am proud of anyone who takes the risk to live in truth and honesty vs living a lie. Gay or straight, married or single, we have all lived a lie at one point or another. Be it being with someone you don't love or keeping a secret you think will 'ruin everything.' Anyone who has the strength to stop the lie deserves a HUGE round of applause in my book.
* The Cooney vs Holmes fight. Whether or not this is truly historical is a matter of opinion but to me it was. I remember staying up late with my mom and dad to watch the fight. I was about 8 years old and I remember watching as my parents dodged and weaved and cheered. I don't know if I remember much of the fight but I remember how my parents reacted. Prior to this I had memories of my dad and memories of my mom, but this was the first true memory I had of them both together, enjoying themselves. It was amazing. I can't be sure but I bet that had something to do with my love of Rocky a few months later when my uncle showed me the movie. The love of Rocky and the dream of taking boxing classes has stuck with me ever since. (I haven't boxed yet and would never want to in an actual fight but I would LOVE to take a class or two)
* The Waco Siege. I remember watching on TV as they stormed the compound and then the entire place went up in flame. It was a horrifying to watch but I was intrigued. I couldn't understand how or why people would choose to die over religious beliefs. This is probably what helped feed my interest and fascination with religion and cults.
* The killing of the Oregon City girls. I hadn't been living in Portland very long when this happened. I remember they found the body of the first girl in the garage and immediately 24-hr news coverage began. I was glued to the TV for days watching and waiting. I was crying with the families - even though I had never known these girls. Like the Bundy experience before something about the entire situation moved me. Plus this was in my own town. Coming from a small town in Alaska a crime like this was unreal - which was both fascinating and terrifying. Big cities are so different from small towns.
* The first woman runs for Governor of Alaska - Arliss Strugeleski. I LOVED her. She was strong, bold and Republican. This was a woman that wasn't an idiot. She was my hero. I proudly worked for her campaign in high school. And I met her a number of times - she remembered me. When I grew up I wanted to be just like her (and almost was is seemed). I was crushed when she lost. And to think who was actually elected the first female governor years later turns my stomach. Arliss would have made an excellent Governor.
* Meeting ALL of the past Governors of Alaska. I was in 2nd grade when my mom took me out of school one day to go to the inauguration. It was at the SOB (State Office Building for non-Alaskans) at noon. We watched while the new Governor was sworn in (Sheffield) and give his speech. Then the former Governors formed a line for the new Governor and his cabinet to walk through and shake hands. My mom said I should 'go get in line' to meet the Governor - meaning the line off to the side, behind the press. I didn't hear and/or pay attention to that part. I joined in the line right in between some cabinet members. And there it was on TV me walking down the line shaking hands with all of the Governors. My mom was embarrassed at the other end but proud. I never registered what I did was wrong. Still don't.
These are the first few things I can think of right now. If I can think of others I will add them but these are certainly the really big things. Feel free to respond with your own list of historical things in your lifetime. I bet combined we could cover almost every news-worthy item over the last 30-40 years. What you think?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I Just Realized...
Recently, I have realized a few things. Some are things I am finally willing to admit, others things I am still embarassed about admitting, and still others are just random silly things that have come to mind will I have been contemplating other things. The list that follows is in no particular order and holds things that are to be taken seriously and not seriously. I will let you decide for yourself what those things are, respectively.
* Justin Timberlake is pretty cool. He is willing to make fun of himself and play around. I am no longer afraid or unwilling to admit that I dig him. Yes, I do.
* I am disgusted that male teachers face harsher sentences than female teachers in cases of student abuse. This is appalling and unsettling.
* I still have wild fantasties of being interviewed by Barbara Walters. I LOVE her specials and want her autobiography more than any other book right now.
* I have a natural skill in making mazes. I have started a 'maze club' in my afterschool program and have about 15 kids who come every week to solve mazes. I made one to just 'try it out' and have realized that my natural ability to solve even the most difficult of mazes quickly has also given me a natural ability to make mazes. I like doing it and plan to make as many of them as I can to have for the kids whenever they want.
* Wall-E is a fantastic movie that EVERYONE should have to watch. To me, it clearly shows what society will one day be like if we don't start making some real changes now - fat people unable ot wlak no their own 2 feet living in space because we screwed up Earth.
* I would describe myself as: the loyalty of Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings; the common sense and luck of Lucille Ball; the vocal range of Melissa Etheridge, Alanis Morrisette and Chrissie Hynde; the political leanings of Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Ghandi and John Lennon; the hair style of Shirley Temple; the dance style of Ellen DeGeneres; and a sense-of-humor that combines Ellen DeGeneres, Kathy Griffin, Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams - without the paycheck and audience. I say these things not in any way praising myself, though I like all of the people I named above. I say these things as a means to explaining why I am sometimes so confused, disorganized, anti-social, stressed, angry, outgoing, upbeat, positive and rarely hold the same mood or temperment for any period of time.
* Through lots of researching, reading and self-discovery I have realized that I am Buddhist. By that I mean I don't even have to 'convert' because I already believe that way, try to act that way and seek out the same things Buddhists do. It's amazing to me that now, after almost 34 years, I have found out what truly am. I have always felt it was the path for me but until recently I never realized how much. Everything I read, discover and learn match up so well with my own values and beliefs virtually no change is needed in my life to 'become' Buddhist. That said, I do plan to do a self-confirming ritual in the near future to make it 'official' in my mind, body and soul, but to my spirit no ritual is necessary.
* I tend to think and write everything as bullet points. It's how I roll. I have realized pretty much every blog I have written has been bullet points of one form or another. I am not sure if it ready well that way or is boring and lame. Either way, its how I do things and I am OK with that for the most part.
* I believe the natural default setting for my body is pescatarian (vegetarian who eats meat). Not sure why but it just feels right for me. I am tired of fighting it and trying to be anything else. My reasons are health related, society related and politically related. For me, those are 3 pretty strong reasons to give up the fight and welcome the veggies and fish.
* If my highschool reunion was right now I would certainly go and have plans to go to the next one. Having found a bunch of people on facebook I have realized that it would be nice to see them and catch up.
* Keeping in mind what I just wrote, it is amazing to me just HOW much I have changed since highschool. I also realize how much other people have changed too. It's all so great!
* Getting an IUD may have been a good call and will help in the long run but it has been one of the most agonizingly painful experiences ever. I hope that goes away soon.
* I have now forgotten other things I have realized and was going to write about. So I have JUST NOW realized I should stop bullet pointing til more comes to me.
* Justin Timberlake is pretty cool. He is willing to make fun of himself and play around. I am no longer afraid or unwilling to admit that I dig him. Yes, I do.
* I am disgusted that male teachers face harsher sentences than female teachers in cases of student abuse. This is appalling and unsettling.
* I still have wild fantasties of being interviewed by Barbara Walters. I LOVE her specials and want her autobiography more than any other book right now.
* I have a natural skill in making mazes. I have started a 'maze club' in my afterschool program and have about 15 kids who come every week to solve mazes. I made one to just 'try it out' and have realized that my natural ability to solve even the most difficult of mazes quickly has also given me a natural ability to make mazes. I like doing it and plan to make as many of them as I can to have for the kids whenever they want.
* Wall-E is a fantastic movie that EVERYONE should have to watch. To me, it clearly shows what society will one day be like if we don't start making some real changes now - fat people unable ot wlak no their own 2 feet living in space because we screwed up Earth.
* I would describe myself as: the loyalty of Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings; the common sense and luck of Lucille Ball; the vocal range of Melissa Etheridge, Alanis Morrisette and Chrissie Hynde; the political leanings of Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Ghandi and John Lennon; the hair style of Shirley Temple; the dance style of Ellen DeGeneres; and a sense-of-humor that combines Ellen DeGeneres, Kathy Griffin, Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams - without the paycheck and audience. I say these things not in any way praising myself, though I like all of the people I named above. I say these things as a means to explaining why I am sometimes so confused, disorganized, anti-social, stressed, angry, outgoing, upbeat, positive and rarely hold the same mood or temperment for any period of time.
* Through lots of researching, reading and self-discovery I have realized that I am Buddhist. By that I mean I don't even have to 'convert' because I already believe that way, try to act that way and seek out the same things Buddhists do. It's amazing to me that now, after almost 34 years, I have found out what truly am. I have always felt it was the path for me but until recently I never realized how much. Everything I read, discover and learn match up so well with my own values and beliefs virtually no change is needed in my life to 'become' Buddhist. That said, I do plan to do a self-confirming ritual in the near future to make it 'official' in my mind, body and soul, but to my spirit no ritual is necessary.
* I tend to think and write everything as bullet points. It's how I roll. I have realized pretty much every blog I have written has been bullet points of one form or another. I am not sure if it ready well that way or is boring and lame. Either way, its how I do things and I am OK with that for the most part.
* I believe the natural default setting for my body is pescatarian (vegetarian who eats meat). Not sure why but it just feels right for me. I am tired of fighting it and trying to be anything else. My reasons are health related, society related and politically related. For me, those are 3 pretty strong reasons to give up the fight and welcome the veggies and fish.
* If my highschool reunion was right now I would certainly go and have plans to go to the next one. Having found a bunch of people on facebook I have realized that it would be nice to see them and catch up.
* Keeping in mind what I just wrote, it is amazing to me just HOW much I have changed since highschool. I also realize how much other people have changed too. It's all so great!
* Getting an IUD may have been a good call and will help in the long run but it has been one of the most agonizingly painful experiences ever. I hope that goes away soon.
* I have now forgotten other things I have realized and was going to write about. So I have JUST NOW realized I should stop bullet pointing til more comes to me.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Know Me? Know Me.
Hope this isn't boring. I think I could have done 50 but we'll stick to 25.
1. I have had my license plates stolen twice - both personalize sets and both in Juneau, Alaska. At the time, I was the ONLY person EVER to have their license plates stolen (much less twice)
2. When I was a little kid I used to tell all my classmates and teachers about my 'little brother' at home. I am an only child. I meant the dog.
3. I once used toothpaste on a picture because I needed white.
4. I am terrified of man-made heights (Space Needle for example) but love God-made heights (cliffs, ledges, etc.)
5. I have gone through basic training in Ft. Knox, Kentucky
6. I want to live to be 123 - seriously.
7. In earlier days (crazy days) I once drank so much I don't remember an entire country... that I was in for a week. I have no memory of the trip - just memories composed of stories from friends.
8. I lived in England for a year... and loved it!
9. I have had over 20 head-injuries and/or been knocked unconscious
10. I am divorced and COMPLETELY ok with it and happy it happened as it did. I learned a LOT! I hold NO ill will towards anyone.
11. I really try to be a good person and do the right thing.
12. I have 7 tattoos and will be getting an 8th one in March.
13. My legs don't tan but I get freckles on my knee caps. It's annoying.
14. If I had a time machine I would go back to about middle school and tell myself, "You could get a JOB working with Legos...."
15. I want to be a clown at the Children's Hospital - It is a true dream and goal of mine... volunteer that is (I have no skill but silliness. I doubt they'd pay me.)
16. I am highly allergic to latex and deathly allergic to kiwi. If anyone eating kiwi touches me I get a rash within 5 minutes. If I eat it, it closes up my throat and I can't breathe.
17. I can't read music at all, even though I love to sing. And I play no intrument. I find these to be two of my greatest weaknesses.
18. I want to get a dog more than anything.
19. I hope to travel to Tibet and spend time learning from the monks. I have a deep interest and intrigue in Buddhism.
20. I used to be able to see people's auras. I still can sometimes.
21. If I won the lottery, after I paid off all my debts, I would hire a trainer to train me to climb Mt. Everest... it is my 'crazy dream' but something I would sincerely want to do.
22. I am a vault and can keep secrets very well. I have things about myself and many, many others (some who are no longer friends) that will go with me to the grave. Completely!
23. I have no tolerance for gossip. I only ask questions of people or about people if I genuinely care. I have no desire or motivation to be nosy. See #22 regarding answers to questions.
24. In more morbid way, I have already written down what I want done at my funeral and with my body. It won't make everyone in my family happy (they don't even like to talk about things like that) but it doesn't bother me. It's a fact and I would rather admit it, face it and live without it's fear than wonder.
25. Though I am a very open and honest person, I am also a very private person. The two can and do co-exist.
1. I have had my license plates stolen twice - both personalize sets and both in Juneau, Alaska. At the time, I was the ONLY person EVER to have their license plates stolen (much less twice)
2. When I was a little kid I used to tell all my classmates and teachers about my 'little brother' at home. I am an only child. I meant the dog.
3. I once used toothpaste on a picture because I needed white.
4. I am terrified of man-made heights (Space Needle for example) but love God-made heights (cliffs, ledges, etc.)
5. I have gone through basic training in Ft. Knox, Kentucky
6. I want to live to be 123 - seriously.
7. In earlier days (crazy days) I once drank so much I don't remember an entire country... that I was in for a week. I have no memory of the trip - just memories composed of stories from friends.
8. I lived in England for a year... and loved it!
9. I have had over 20 head-injuries and/or been knocked unconscious
10. I am divorced and COMPLETELY ok with it and happy it happened as it did. I learned a LOT! I hold NO ill will towards anyone.
11. I really try to be a good person and do the right thing.
12. I have 7 tattoos and will be getting an 8th one in March.
13. My legs don't tan but I get freckles on my knee caps. It's annoying.
14. If I had a time machine I would go back to about middle school and tell myself, "You could get a JOB working with Legos...."
15. I want to be a clown at the Children's Hospital - It is a true dream and goal of mine... volunteer that is (I have no skill but silliness. I doubt they'd pay me.)
16. I am highly allergic to latex and deathly allergic to kiwi. If anyone eating kiwi touches me I get a rash within 5 minutes. If I eat it, it closes up my throat and I can't breathe.
17. I can't read music at all, even though I love to sing. And I play no intrument. I find these to be two of my greatest weaknesses.
18. I want to get a dog more than anything.
19. I hope to travel to Tibet and spend time learning from the monks. I have a deep interest and intrigue in Buddhism.
20. I used to be able to see people's auras. I still can sometimes.
21. If I won the lottery, after I paid off all my debts, I would hire a trainer to train me to climb Mt. Everest... it is my 'crazy dream' but something I would sincerely want to do.
22. I am a vault and can keep secrets very well. I have things about myself and many, many others (some who are no longer friends) that will go with me to the grave. Completely!
23. I have no tolerance for gossip. I only ask questions of people or about people if I genuinely care. I have no desire or motivation to be nosy. See #22 regarding answers to questions.
24. In more morbid way, I have already written down what I want done at my funeral and with my body. It won't make everyone in my family happy (they don't even like to talk about things like that) but it doesn't bother me. It's a fact and I would rather admit it, face it and live without it's fear than wonder.
25. Though I am a very open and honest person, I am also a very private person. The two can and do co-exist.
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