March-May

It's been a while since I wrote so I figured an update was necessary. I haven't had major internet access for a while. I have been jumping online when I could at work and/or borrowing the roomies computer when possible. But it means blogging was not the priority. Now I have a tiny, adorable little laptop/netbook that I am loving. I named it Tiny. Hopefully it will make my life easier, more accessible and lead to more blogging. Well consider this the start right?

Anyway, here are some updates on my life and possibly some random thoughts too:

* Looks like I will be back at TAG next year. They are pretty sure the budget will be there and there will be even more kids in the program so my position is very much needed. I am super excited.

* On that note, after being in the classroom all year I have officially decided that I do want to pursue teaching as a career. When I get back from camp I am going to start looking seriously into some MAT programs locally and hopefully will get started next summer. I can't wait!

* I have less than 2 weeks before I leave for camp. I am nervous and excited, both. I have so much to look forward to and so much I fear. I am trying to stay positive and upbeat about the whole thing, but there are a lot of unknowns.

* My mind is my worst enemy. I can think myself into believing just about anything, which can lead to lots of problems. Especially when others are involved. It is frustrating.

* I have discovered a new hobby with Lego that I LOVE! Didn't think it could get cooler but then BANG! it did.

* There are a few new developments in my life lately that have me happy, concerned, anxious and excited. I don't feel comfortable going into massive details here since they involve others and unless I am told I 'can' speak on the topic I'd rather not do so on a public blog. However, I will say that I feel positive for the future and would like to continue to be 'cautiously optomistic.'

* Along with the last bullet point, I have experienced some situations lately that have not been pleasant. I have found them to be learning experiences which is all one can truly ever ask for but I do feel as though I have learned and am ready to move forward. I only hope others feel similarly and that history will NOT repeat itself again.

* I am trying to get better about 'walking the talk.' I think I do it pretty well for the most part but am aware of some situations where I do not. Understandable insecurities or not, I don't like misrepresenting myself which is how I feel when I say one thing and do another. I am hopeful that I will continue to walk the path of my talk since it is of great importance to me.

* I am seriously attached to the kids I work with and am very sad that I have just 2 more days with them before I am done. I can't even imagine how I will feel after camp.

* There are things I never thought I would want (again) that I can now honestly say I do want. I am nervous about having changed my opinion on these topics but do feel as though time has healed the wounds and settled the fears. I feel like a real adult now!

* I am glad I made the summer camp commitment earlier because if I were doing it now there is a chance I wouldn't. There are so many unknowns about how things will be when I am gone and when I get back that the idea of being here and being employeed and stable is appealing. However, this is also the best time for me to take a risk like this so I am just gonna go with it.

* To save my sanity and the sanity of those crazy enough to have ongoing contact with me, I have decided that I must start journaling again. I love looking back at things and seeing how they worked out. Here's hoping that my journal of now will be a gem and hold a wonderful growth and adventure that leads me down a path of true and complete happiness and love.

Those are some of the recent thoughts going through my head and the basics of an update. Since someone asked before, my Waldo thing is basically a scavenger hunt where people dressed as Waldo from the 'Where's Waldo' books will be hidden downtown Portland at key places. The object will be to solve clues and find Waldos. It is a ton of fun to organize (lots of work too) and I hope everyone who does it will be super excited and have a great time.

Off to get the sleep I missed from today. Hoping that tomorrow finds me healthy, happy and wise enough to stop my brain from overanalyzing things. I just want low-drama, low-stress living. Not "no" but certainly 'low.' I feel like lately I have been on stress overload and I could soooo use some breaks now. Especially before I leave. Fingers and toes crossed....